The More Things Change

Everyone has heard the expression, "the more things change, the more things stay the same." Well, I would like to take this opportunity to modify this supposedly tried and true saying to fit reality a little bit better. As of late, I've been finding the expression to go a little more like this: "the more things change, the more things change."

As young people, change in our lives is nearly unavoidable. We move a lot, we change circles of friends, we switch career paths, we date new people... For better or worse, our lives are rarely "settled" and are instead in a constant state of flux. For me at least, change has become so commonplace that I no longer recognize it as a deviation from the norm. I guess you could say I've learned to go with the flow. But every once in a while, some event will still surprise me; it will pop out of nowhere, and before I can brace myself for it there's CHANGE sticking its tongue out at me, taunting me like a playground bully as it squeals "bet you didn't see that one coming!"

The good news is not all CHANGE is our 2nd grade worst nightmare. Sometimes the changes that most surprise us are the positive ones we never could have anticipated.

It can be difficult to accept these sorts of positive "surprise attack" changes, because even though we know they are changes for the better, they are still unexpected. I personally have found it hard to sweep out the cobwebs of my past expectations in order to allow the positive changes around me to come into my life. In my case, these changes have often been in the form of people exceeding my expectations--be they a boyfriend, friends, or family. While this sounds like a good thing, it is challenging to throw away an old concept of someone or an antiquated set of expectations and welcome in the new person--whether that person is actually NEW, or even if the person has just made improvements that have rendered him or her changed.

The scary part about changes like these is that if you are not ready and willing to tear down the walls your past expectations insisted you build, you may prevent yourself from ushering these people into your life. And these people-- new or just changed--may have a lot to offer. So, what I'm learning is that maybe turning playground bully change into positive change is just a matter of getting rid of an old concept and changing your expectations. "The more things change, the more things change!"